Why Bills Fans Give Me Hope


You may want to sit down for this: I don’t know much about football. “But Chelsea,” you think, “You seem like the type who would really enjoy watching men in tight pants grab each other’s butts.” Wait, do I really? In actuality, all of my football knowledge comes from the fact that I had to take a test on it to pass a gym class one year. Also, thank god I went to a school that gave gym grades based on written tests and not actual physical ability. As a lifelong Rochester resident, my entire exposure to football fanhood has only been through one team: the Buffalo Bills.

Lemme tell you a little bit about what I’ve learned about the Bills, that you probably already know. *pours a bowl of Flutie Flakes* They haven’t made the playoffs in 15 years. They went to four consecutive Super Bowls…and lost every single one. They have the longest active streak of losing seasons in the NFL. I know some of my friends are going to angrily text me after they read this next sentence, but I’m not the only one saying it: On paper, they kinda suck. And yet, their fans are insane. And I mean that literally. You’d have to be insane to willingly tailgate in a Buffalo winter. On the plus side, at least your beer will stay cold.


That also means they’re insanely loyal. They don’t even call themselves a fanbase. They’re a FAMbase, because they’re a family. And family sticks together. When Bon Jovi expressed interest in buying the team and moving them to Toronto, radio stations and bars in Buffalo responded by declaring the city a “Bon Jovi free zone” and banning his music from being played. Every Sunday from September to December, my social media is filled #BillsMafia and cries to circle the wagons. They allow themselves to be seen in public wearing red, white, and blue Zubaz. At the beginning of every season, they are fucking pumped. Yesterday, after they beat the Dolphins, I saw someone on Facebook  already posting about their Super Bowl chances. And when things start to go downhill, they don’t abandon the team like fair weather fans. They drown their sorrows in a Blue Light and declare, “Next year will be our year.” Because through it all, they Billieve.

So here’s your inspiration for the week. Face your challenges with the undying dedication and eternal optimism of a Bills fan. Never give up, and never abandon your dreams. You can pass that test. You can ace that interview. You got this. But if you don’t, there’s always next time. And that just might be your time to shine.




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